Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Brother can you spare two dumps?

So it says on the news that our PM received a Prize.

The award is created for the first time this year by the YARA Foundation (subsidiary of YARA International ASA, world’s leading supplier of mineral fertilizer).

Any one who watches/watched The Simpsons knows ‘The First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence’. good old Burnsy.

Homer "wins" the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence, a fictional $2000 prize awarded by Montgomery Burns. The name of the "award" was hastily concocted by Burns on the spot in an attempt to convince Homer to sign a waiver freeing the nuclear plant of all liability for Homer's recently discovered sterility.

Why would any one think of giving an award to the most inappropriate person at the most inappropriate time?

The premise of the award is just as absurd as Burnsy’s. “promote green revolution in Africa” what revolution? For the PM Meles, the word revolution induces high fevers followed by extreme brutality; the last word he wants to hear is a revolution, especially a colored one.

Forget the revolution, here is what they said when they stuffed $200,000 in his fat pocket.

“for his contribution to improved food security and human nutrition in ways that also protect the environment” and “[bringing] about political change in Ethiopia, and placed the rural poor first in the country's development strategies”

Improved food security? Political change? Human nutrition? Protect the environment? That doesn’t sound like Ethiopia at all. The last time I checked, over 10m people are awaiting emergency food aid, Meles and his EPRDF buddies have chained them selves to the throne, bullets are not part of a nutritional diet, and fertilizers are no good for the environment.

The name “YARA Prize” is even more absurd than Mr. Burns’ award in the field of excellence, at least for us Ethiopians. Yara in Amharic translates to “he who defecated”. I think I like it. I am not the least bit interested in the PM’s bowl movements but he sure has been verbally defecating on the Ethiopian public. My disinterest in fecal issues is also shared by the YARA Foundation, YARA manufactures and exports mineral fertilizer, not the wholesome organic kind derived from poop.

On the other hand, PM Meles and his EPRDF croons love fertilizers soooo much I wouldn’t wonder if they use some in their morning coffee - of course not ca-ca kind. Besides petroleum products, chemical fertilizer constitutes one of the largest single import commodity. The fertilizer trade has been increasing since the establishment of Sasakawa Global 2000, (the white guy in the pic is Mr. Carter and the black guy is PM Meles) an organization that openly advocates the use of fertilizers, pesticides and GM seeds. Fertilizer becoming such a lucrative line of business, the three EPRDF affiliated trading houses – Guna, Ambasel, and Dinsho – monopolized the fertilizer market by muscling out others like the Ethiopian Amalgamated LTD.

With in the rural community, fertilizer has been used as a way of blackmailing the farmers to vote for EPRDF, which is another luxury they enjoy from the monopoly. When EPRDF realized they didn’t get the farmers vote, which they were counting on, they denied the much needed fertilizer at a critical time telling them “kinijit yistachu” (go ask CUD). Ever since the election they have been harassing farmers to pay them the debt they owe from last years fertilizer supply, the farmers in turn said “le kinijit nEw mEnsetEw” (we will give it to CUD). on top of that, Did I mention they increased the already inflated price of fertilizer?

As for PM’s award for the most verbal defecation in short period…I mean..YARA Foundation Prize; kickbacks and commissions do not constitute awards for good deeds. What ever the hell it is for, in the name of all good and beautiful, he doesn’t deserve it and this I know, the whole Ethiopian public knows and now you know.

Hell ya, I might even be the recipient of the YARA prize next year for the most vulgar blog entry.

In any case, farming is going be all organic this year so do your part by fertilizing a farmer’s field when out of Addis.

The Simpsons, Season 3. Epis
ode 24: Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes?


Blogger Linda's lounge said...

Tsega! I used to check your blog all the time but came to the conclusion you were never going to post again. I thought you'd found a hottie and blogging had nom ore place in your life. Glad to hear from you!

3:19 AM  
Blogger beRto said...

Thanks for making me sign up for my very own blog account; it was the only way I could leave clever and insightful comments. I hate you for this.

6:47 AM  
Blogger ET Wonqette said...

You had me at.. YARA.
You are brilliant.

11:50 AM  
Blogger trotts said...

Don't crap out on us now man; keep the bloggin' coming...

11:47 AM  
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