Friday, September 09, 2005

Hurricane Melew

Unless I am writing this from the next world this should be a good sign that I am alive. My where abouts shouldn’t be a concern to any of you well wishers out there. I was in better place, just came back from an extended work related roadtrip to the a very nice part of ethiopia, Arba Minch. Everything was grand beside the lack of a portal for my two cents on the happenings of the last two weeks, which can be considered as the Ethiopian Hurricane season, politically of course.

For those of you who follow the current Ethiopian politics this is gonna be old news. the last time I blogged just before I left, the NEBE had declared EPRDF a winner, the prime Minster was announced winner of the first Yara foundation prize and the hype was going down.

While I was away, the European union election observer team, headed by Ana Gomes, now nicked by Ethiopians ‘Anna Gobeze’ (Gobeze = the brave), released their report on what they thought of the elections. Ok. I know the NEBE has other agendas besides running national elections but the EU? Might I wonder what took them so freaking long to release their report? it’s all good tho, the report is just what was needed, it’s like a down pour in the middle off a drought, it definitely came to the delight of many, some thing that would make you say “Anjete Kibe Te’ta” (it drenched my gut with butter) after reading it. According to the EU, the 2005 Ethiopian Elections is a text book example of undemocratic elections

Not all Ethiopian’s guts are drenched with butter, for some, it’s like swallowing a lump of hot amber. I wish I was right there when Bereket ‘bagdad bob’ Simon read the report, if he can. Apparently, a series of editorials came out on the Ethiopian Herald (EPRDF Herald i call it) questioning the credibility of Ana Gomes…. sorry..Ana Gobeze and finally came to an idiotic conclusion that Mrs. Gobeze gets 20% of the money raised in the EU for CUD. I am no fraud guru but I know a few things one of them is that CUD is not Fertilizer Company, and second only PM Meles is known to accept such offerings.

Talk about PM Meles, they say I have been irreverent towards him. in the words of snoop doggy dog…”Whhhy not?”, when you’ve got a prime minister that just keeps on screwing, it’s my national duty to be disrespectful. his latest in his line of ‘ignorant deed at the wrong time’ is thirteen thousand something word letter he published on the EPRDF Herald in three parts each with a different ridanculous title that all together translate to ‘why I am and always will be a power mongering lunatic and my one nut is slightly larger than the other ’. Give us some freaking slack here Mr. PM but you firkin choose these observers your self, the once you deemed unreliable you kicked out of the country and the local ones you revoked their rights. Now we are being told what these people are saying is nothing but a heap of lies. Perhaps officers of the Chinese Communist Party should have done the observing. oh the humanity, you people should have seen the slogans they had on TV in between each news segment and between commercial breaks, it took a lot of effort on not to kick in the screen, classic Dergue. One of them read (of course in Amharic but literally translates to) “what the foreign election observers and journalists are saying is not going to make any difference”. I have a couple of questions for PM Meles .one, does your slogan include Jimmy? two, when you composed that self deprecating epic, were you on your usual belEche? cause man, that’s shit you wrote is too intense for belEche, when did you switch to GelEmso? (

Before the ink dried on the herald, our valiant PM made his way Norway to be proclaimed a modern day Viking and officially get the 200,000$ he plundered together with the fertilizer giant Yara international. At the ceremony, Melew the great offered his bounty be used to help poor school girls in Ethiopia. I bettcha you he was counting on ‘yilunTa’ (a mental condition in Habesha people that makes you do things that you don’t want for the sake of ‘what would others say’) to kick in when he said that - “no no…ere..aydregem..”. but not me, as the saying goes ‘bElt lej eyeBela yaleksal’ (a smart kid cries for more while eating what he’s given), so PM Meles, I suggest you submit the money ASAP, in cash, to someone we can trust (to be chosen) before you embark on yet another painful piece on why your daughter qualifies as a poor student.

Have loads to catch up on.

On the subject of hurricanes and inept leaders, I wish strength for those affected by Hurricane Katrina. As for Curious George, I remember the morning after the election being told that bush won and me going “heh..no worries…either he will get assassinated or impeached”. Now I know for what reason.

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