Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Egoportal’s non-Daily Recipe

Revolutionary Terrorism a la Meles

“A meal fit for the 77th wealthiest human”



Preparation time : 14 years

Can serve : “the smaller the company, the higher the gluttony”







Ingredients

o 70 million serfs

o simulated democracy made from Maoist ideology as per Albanian revolutionists specification

o nonexistent 7% annual economic growth

o assorted oppositions

o armed drones

o A border dispute with a neighboring country

o Donors with various interests (national security, natural resources, a progressive mate, good-do-ers)

Preparation

- Slow roast the serfs by adding ethnic hatred, famine, poverty, and inept governance

- Marinate Border dispute with a neighboring country (the longer the better)

- Add simulated democracy, assorted oppositions, & nonexistent 7% annual GDP growth and Tenderize donors to extract juices

- remove lumpy opposition as they might make the donor tenderizing process difficult

- If serfs start turning reddish add some armed drones

- Leave the donors that are not being tenderized and work on ones with higher interest.

- If tenderizing still difficult increase the heat using prospects of greasy natural resources and threat of a ‘clandestine terrorist group’.

- if still difficult throw in some bombs courtesy of the marinated border dispute and lumpy opposition

Serving

- While still roasting, pour a wee amount of donor juice on the serfs to cool down, Garnish with anti terrorism task force and serve on government controlled media, save for later.

- Pour the remaining donor juice in a foreign safe-heaven and enjoy at your will.

Bon appétit!


4 Comments:

Blogger Wegesha said...

The meal sounds very interesting. What do we wash it down with? I frequent Merlot but this one may require something stronger.

2:53 PM  
Blogger tsegasaurus said...

i am not drinking fucking merlot!

2:30 AM  
Blogger Dina said...

And dessert? Macerated farmland flambeed with farmer's sweat?

2:46 AM  
Blogger ET Wonqette said...

Tried the recipe. Yummy. A soupcon of organic concentration camp Tennadam made it yummier. Steamed dreams of the youth makes an excellent garnish.

Wegesha, wegesha. Merlot with this culinary masterpiece? Ay mnew. A glass of 2005 Chateau Melesocracy, please.

Jack: Pinot noir? How come it’s white? Doesn’t noir mean black?

Miles: Jesus. Don’t ask questions like that in wine country. They’ll think you’re a moron.

Jack: Sure is tasty.

2:38 PM  

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