Thursday, May 25, 2006

The “not so” Great Firewall of Ethiopia (or is it?)

Meles and Co. controlled ETC is acting like a 10year old who just learned how to use magnifying glass to torture bugs.There are rumors that the Chinese are involved in this censorship fiasco, which I highly doubt. To my knowledge, the Chinese are the best in the business. The Great Fire Wall of China, although not perfect, it the biggest attempt to filter web content in a country with the second largest internet access. To say china is involved in this half-arsed censorship (see comments on previous post) is an insult. Computer savvy friends tell me “the ethionet server can be hacked with a pocket calculator”.

Reporters with out Borders have asked for an explanation from the government. heh! I will give my first born if they get a straight answer.

In any case, now that it’s official that bloggers (and now chatters) have been added to EPRDF’s long list of “enemies of the constitution”, what’s to stop them from rounding us up (of course, those of us blogging form mother land)? What are the chances that the fact I can post this entry with out a problem but can’t read blogger blogs is a trap? Perhaps now is a good time to skim through RSF’s Handbook for bloggers and cyber descendents. if it’s too late for that, like me - i used my gut instincts when I started blogging not to mention being political or irreverent to tyrants wasn’t my reason - It’s time to start pondering plan B.

  1. Always keep a large towel and flip-flops nearby;
  2. Practice how to take beating;
  3. Familiarize your self with the rules of ‘Yeshama’; and
  4. Send a nice photo to Ethan Zuckerman to make a badge that reads ‘Free so-and-so…’

Am I scared? a lil’bit. I have had a run-in with their goons before and it wasn’t what you would call an enchanting experience. but who would turn down a chance to chat with Birhanu Nega about his future plans for the City?

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Breaking News: Antiterrorism taskforce cracks mystery blast case

May 19, 2005 (ADDIS ABABA) -After extensive investigation of last Friday’s ninetuple bomb explosions in the capital, the Federal Police Antiterrorism Taskforce today announced that they have linked the incident to a group that calls itself Blogger. The “anti-peace element” has been operating in clandestine to prevent peace prevailing in the country and undermine the constitution.

The taskforce cracked the case after discovering that ‘blog’ actually means ‘bomb’. According to Federal Police Commissioner Workineh Gebeyhu, who explained the process of the investigation told Walta that the words ‘blog’ and ‘bomb’ start with the letter “B” and suspiciously have four letters each. He also added that “’blogger’ is just another way of saying ‘bomber’”. He emphasized that it required the taskforce to work day and night to solve the case.

A press release from the prime minister’s office stated that “the government will not tolerate those who want to disrupt the peace in unconstitutional ways!” PM Meles congratulated the taskforce for the swift investigation adding that he will extend his hands to those who brought the perpetrators to justice.

Addis Ababa residents who we spoke to today expressed their confidence towards the taskforce and the government in bringing criminals to justice. Ato G/Senay Tolosa from Mercato area said that he expects the government to take all necessary means to protect the constitution from “anti-peace particles” adding that “antipeace particles ate his peas”. W/O Minyelushal Kebede form Shiro Meda expressed her appreciation to the task force and hopes that the price of peas stabilizes now that the “anti-peace” elements have been apprehended.

To prevent further atrocities, the group’s official outlet known as has now been blocked. From now on bloggers can only commit more heinous crimes only through web based proxy servers that let them remain anonymous.

Based on their accomplishment, the taskforce is now looking into the alleged financing of genocide through the Gene Bank.

Monday, May 15, 2006

put yo hands up in da air

The Hand

The hand is a very handy thing to have.
The hand can be used to handle things like handbags and hand tools
Hand tools are used to make handcrafts.
“if they don’t find you handsome, at least they should find you handy”
One can lend a hand to some one in need
Lending a hand to someone in need is nice

On the other hand, not all hands are good

A handful of people have the upper hand
Upper hands avoid hand to hand combat
Instead they give hand-jobs to get extra hands
The extra hands are always at hand for the upper hands
They raise their hands when the upper hands want them to
Those hands also get other hands to place hand grenades
Giving handjob to get a hand is bad
Neither is trading your dignity for a handjob
Improper handling of the hand is called mishandling
this is an example of mihandlling.....

(click image to enlarge your penis)

now sing with me…..

we will follow him
Follow him what ever he may vote for
There isn't a scandal too deep
A burden so high it can keep us away

We must follow him
Ever since he touched our genitals, we knew
That near him we always must be
And nothing can keep him from us
He is our destiny

We love him, we love him, we love him
And what he votes, we'll follow, we'll follow, we'll follow
He'll always be our true love, our true love, our true love
From 1991 until forever, forever, forever Posted by Picasa